6 Ways to Die “Wrong”

Churchyard Cemetery
These moss-covered (technically algae-covered) headstones can be found in the cemetery behind the old Congregational Church in West Dummerston, Vermont. Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

So last month I put out a call for help on how to die “right,” i.e. how to arrange our affairs gracefully and in such a way as to cause the least pain and distress for our offspring.

And I got no comments. None. Nada. Zip.

Not even from our offspring. (Interesting that.)

This leads me to believe that none of us actually know how to die properly. So I thought I’d make a list of ways to die improperly and possibly, from that list I’ll learn how to shuffle off this mortal coil with my self respect and get a decent eulogy from our offspring.

So here’s my current “plan” for dying improperly:

Scatter important documents around the house and put only unimportant documents in the fire safe.
Let each kid “know” that they inherit the hubs massive (and very heavy) rock collection, so they can argue later over who has to take it home with them.
Leave behind guilt laden letter about how I hope they will treasure my books until they die and pass that guilt trip on to their heirs.
Make sure it is as difficult as possible to manage social media accounts by hiding or otherwise obscuring passwords and log on information.
Tell each heir that they get “the good stuff” in our will. There is no “good stuff,” but that will force them to go through everything.
Forget to mention the storage container, so the first they know of it is when they see their stuff on Storage Wars.

Did I miss anything? If I’m going to go down in flames, I want to do it in grand style. And if the offspring are forced to occasionally read my blog… (very big grin)

You know I love comments so much that I pick a favorite to receive my monthly AnaBanana gift basket ($25 value). Recipient is announced the first blog post of the new month.