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August Needs a Makeover

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Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Now that it is finally behind us for another year, I’ve come to the conclusion that August needs a makeover. In fact, I wouldn’t be opposed to revamping the whole calendar. Why are we letting old dudes from the 8th century tell us what day of the week it is anyway? Or time of the year? Or what our months should be called? And why should the old dude who hosed us (Augustus) get to name a month after himself? Hubris, Augustus.

You had a good run at it, but it’s past time for a makeover. So what would my makeover involve?

First off, months are just too long. August is especially too long. I know there are other months that appear to last the same 31 days, but let’s be honest here. August feels a lot longer. It’s feeling that long that is kicking our butts. So let’s shorten that bad boy. And let’s do it right. No more than 20-21 days, tops.

Shorten the misery. Shorten August.

And August needs a new moniker. August sounds kind of important, but actually it is the month before school starts. While school is important, it is also painful. And, at least where I live, August is painful in other ways, so let’s just call it what it is: Hell. If the name needs to be longer, how about Hellacious?

Maybe if August is completely outed for what it is, it will stop being that. Because August is shifty, devious and just plain mean. I’m not saying this just because I get a year older in August either. I wouldn’t like it anyway.

I would “heart” the Mayan calendar, because the idea of having a “vague” year is pretty sweet, but it requires too much math. The Greeks did pretty good. No month was more than 30 days. But I’d still want August aka Hellacious, to be shorter than that.

The Viking calendar has some nice aspects to it, including only two seasons, though where I live, we just need “long summer” and “almost non-existent winter” for our season names. For where I grew up, you’d flip that.

I just think it’s important to pause every thousand years or so and make sure our calendars are working for us, not against us. So what do you think? Are you so over August, too? Or do you feel we can learn to love it again? (August would have to seriously step up her game for me!) Not only is this a chance for an important discussion about how we count our days, but each comment is entered into my monthly drawing for an AnaBanana gift basket full of goodies that can help you recover from August’s damage. Winner is announce…wow, in this blog post (and every first blog post of the new month.)!

Pauline Baird Jones, author, writer, romantic suspense author, science fiction romance author, steampunk, humor, Project Enterprise

And the winner is….

Diana Beebe!

Perilously yours,


When Pauline isn’t campaigning for a better August, she writes books with peril, adventure and romance. But no August. Not until it cleans up its act. For information about her books, you can look her up on Amazon or pop over to her website at All her books are free to anyone with an Amazon Prime Membership.

Girl Gone Nova cover

She does the impossible on a regular basis, but this time the impossible might really BE impossible.

Buy in Kindle or Audio (free loan if you have Prime Membership)

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