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The Christmas #GrandmaProject

Pauline Baird Jones

I can NOT wait!!! #GrandmaProject Ruels!

When I began the #GrandmaProject—oh my goodness!—almost two years ago, I’d planned to keep you all updated about my progress toward becoming an awesome grandma. But then my son got transferred out of state and the #GrandmaProject turned into a long distance project. Thank heavens for texting and FaceTime or I’d have gone into deep mourning, instead of just regular mourning.

But this year it is our turn for the Christmas visit! I’m trying not to go overboard on the presents for the babies (need to practice calling them “the twins” or “the toddlers!”), but it might already be too late. My mind runs at bedtime and when I wake up it runs even more. And it’s not just presents on the list, but how to child-proof the house!

I walk through my house and it seems more dangerous than the lion’s den at the zoo! I see outlets! I see sharp corners! Stairs! Cupboards full of who-knows-what! So then I start to wonder, what aren’t I noticing? What hidden dangers am I missing when I prowl through my house?

I very much fear the #GrandmaProject has veered into #paranoia, but what if it hasn’t? What if I’m not being paranoid enough?

I’ve already got a plan for the cleaning supplies and the meds have all been shifted to safer altitudes (in fact this short person now needs a stool to take a Tylenol), but what haven’t I thought of?

And—flipping sides here—what can I do to make the house more fun? I have some toys and of course, we’re putting up a tree (oh my goodness, how do I make that safe???). I used to know this stuff. What happened to me? To my memory? Some days it doesn’t seem that long and others I feel two hundred years old.

So, my dear peeps, you need to talk me off the roof. Share wise counsel or just tell me to get a grip. I know I’m driving the hubs crazy. LOL Comments please! Not only will they help, but they will get entered into my monthly drawing for an AnaBanana gift basket ($25 value). I announce a winner the first blog post of the new month.

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Perilously yours,

Pauline

P.S. Speaking of “on the roof,” I think I put Doc on the roof more than once while writing Girl Gone Nova. Now you can read Girl Gone Nova in smaller bites, cuz I’ve serialized it and made the first part free.

cover art for serial Girl Gone Nova